Independent Woman – What Does She Mean?
I don’t know about you, but I increasingly find myself surrounded by women who handle everything on their own. Of course, I acknowledge that men also fit into this trend nowadays; it’s just that in my circle, I mainly see women. They all belong to the category of independent, strong women. I’m talking about women who succeed in their careers and often run their own businesses. Some have children but don’t have a man by their side.
I am also one of these women – a working professional, successful in my career, a mother of one child, the head of the household, and an independent woman managing everything. My daily life, like that of most women in this position, feels incredibly dynamic. I rarely get the chance to truly pause and reflect on what’s happening in my personal life. And when I do, I reach the question:
Why is there no man by my side?
Can Women Really Do It All Today?
Just a moment ago, while coming back from grocery shopping, I noticed three other women like me, hurriedly filling their bags and dragging their loads to their cars. I carry everything home since I live just a ten minute walk away, trying to live practically. Do we do this because we want our arms to stretch like primates?
I recall moving urgently with my child and pets, managing to pack fifteen years of life into just five days—all on my own. I certainly didn’t want to hide my belongings!
Painting the walls for a fresh look? Of course! I head to the store, buy brushes and paint, and get started.
Car maintenance? No problem! I handle tire changes, check oil and antifreeze, and listen for strange noises. With Google, I can tackle anything.
When my child has a last-minute school project, I rush around gathering supplies. I have to manage complex work issues, prepare dinner, do laundry, and keep the house clean. The whirlwind never stops, and sometimes it feels like I’m standing still instead of moving forward.
Yes, many women today tackle almost everything, sometimes even more than men. But this isn’t about comparing genders. It’s about the necessity for both to coexist.
Why Do I Need to Be Able to Do Everything?
I never wanted this. Life forced me to rely solely on myself from a young age. While I appreciate my ability to handle unexpected situations without support, I don’t want that. I just have to. I love my freedom and the fact that I don’t depend on anyone but myself. We should all be self-sufficient for our basic existence. Attachment can hurt.
Do I really want to manage everything that circumstance has taught me? It’s not that I don’t want to be capable; sometimes, I wish someone else would take care of things. It’s exhausting to run around alone. Why does this happen? Not just to me, but to many other women as well. Is it because we fear vulnerability, and in trying to hide it, we push men away?
To summarize—I’m talking about women who are independent, financially self-sufficient, working, and attractive. Without a doubt, all the women I know in this situation are charming and alluring. This means appearance isn’t the reason we sprint through life solo. It may not be the most crucial factor, but it certainly weighs heavily when it comes to attraction.
Where Are They – The Men?
Dear men, I don’t want to blame you, but I also won’t excuse you. You’re out there, and you should be, because neither of us can do everything alone. I want to explore why strong women often find themselves alone.
After becoming a single mother, I didn’t even think about looking for a man for a long time. It’s normal, especially when adapting to the new and crucial role of motherhood. As I returned to my daily routine, I started having brief, unfruitful encounters with men.
I won’t go into every detail, but I’ll share the most common reasons I’ve heard for why things didn’t work out:
“You’re too independent; you don’t need me!”
“I can’t see how I fit into your life; you’re always rushing.”
“Not everything can happen your way!”
“I don’t want to take on responsibility.”
“You handle everything on your own; where do I fit in?”
These responses reveal a deeper truth, as there is validity in each of them. Actions speak louder than words. Those who drifted away weren’t prepared for me, and I wasn’t prepared for them either.
What Does an Independent Woman Think?
I increasingly realize that my efforts to avoid showing vulnerability often drive men away. Yes, I’m strong and capable, but when did that become a problem?
It’s a mistake to refuse help. No one knows I need support unless I express it. Trying to juggle everything alone isn’t right; life isn’t a competition. Yet, when you’re accustomed to doing it all, finding a deserving partner becomes tough.
I want someone to take the heavy shopping bags or change my tires. I long for a gentleman to open doors for me and hug me without explanations. But those gestures alone won’t fulfill me.
If a man is just kind, quiet, and mild-mannered around an independent and fiery woman, she’ll find him boring.
Overly controlling man, won’t attract her at all, as she values her freedom.
Explosive and emotional, she’ll feel like she has a child instead of a partner, and that’s not sexy.
If he’s self-absorbed, they won’t connect; they’ll feel like two self-sufficient elements without shared space, and she’ll lose interest.
An independent and fiery woman seeks a man who can challenge her, especially with his mind and ambition. A smart man takes care of himself and captivates without being flashy. He knows how to embrace me, making me feel loved rather than vulnerable. Such a man inspires me quietly, and that’s the beauty of genuine relationships.
Lonely or a Fighter?
For some, I might seem like a lonely person, while for others, I appear more as a fighter. The truth is, we don’t want to be alone. We navigate relationships that often lead nowhere, and in the end, we give up. Why do we surrender? Why don’t we fight for love like we do for everything else in life?
Each of us must answer that question for ourselves. I know I need to embrace my vulnerability, accept it, and live with it without fear. Fear only holds us back. I must seek help and learn to accept it.
I will remain a fighter, and there’s nothing wrong with that. The one who can ignite my passion without burning me out is likely already here.
